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(18-01-2024, 09:24 AM)Oldman Wrote: What is Irish and sits outside in all weather conditions?
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Paddy O'Furniture
(25-04-2024, 08:23 PM)DavidH Wrote: So a person wanted their partner killed & a person at the pub put them onto Arti whom also had a problem with his partner so he was sympathetic & charged $1.00.
He's gone & done the deed but was witnessed by another so he had to kill the witness.
Their was CCTV footage that saw the whole circumstance so the police were quick in arresting Arti.
Next day the newspaper headline read
"Arti chokes 2 for a dollar".
Hopeful of a Charlie Brown 
Hey David, you forgot the tag line : Arti worked in a fruit shop.
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I heard it, originally, as,
“…..in Woolies today, aisle four, Artichokes two for a dollar….”
Cheers,
Mark
It’s not oil, it’s sweat from all the horsepower !
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Why is a giraffe's head so far away from its body ?
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It has a long neck......
Cheers,
Mark
It’s not oil, it’s sweat from all the horsepower !
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(26-04-2024, 04:10 PM)Oldman Wrote: Why is a giraffe's head so far away from its body ?
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It has a long neck......
A combination of total dismay and disbelief!
Greg
’71 Westfalia, Annie
’91 Caravelle GL, Lucy
Слава Україні
I didn’t expect an answer, because I spoke in Spaniel, which is understood only by spaniels.
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He he he he……..
Cheers,
Mark
It’s not oil, it’s sweat from all the horsepower !
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01-05-2024, 05:30 PM
(This post was last modified: 01-05-2024, 06:48 PM by wirrah.
Edit Reason: typo
)
This is just the introduction part of the document discussing this critical issue...
Ban Dihydrogen Monoxide!
The Invisible Killer
Dihydrogen monoxide is colourless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncounted thousands of people every year. Most of these deaths are caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide do not end there. Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating and urination, and possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance. For those who have become dependent, DHMO withdrawal means certain death.
Dihydrogen monoxide:
is also known as hydroxl acid, and is the major component of acid rain.
may cause severe burns.
contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape.
accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals.
may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes.
has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients.
Contamination Is Reaching Epidemic Proportions!
Greg
’71 Westfalia, Annie
’91 Caravelle GL, Lucy
Слава Україні
I didn’t expect an answer, because I spoke in Spaniel, which is understood only by spaniels.
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Wa-ter you on about, Greg?
Cheers,
Mark
It’s not oil, it’s sweat from all the horsepower !
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(01-05-2024, 06:45 PM)Oldman Wrote: Wa-ter you on about, Greg?
Water is a chemical 
Greg
’71 Westfalia, Annie
’91 Caravelle GL, Lucy
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I didn’t expect an answer, because I spoke in Spaniel, which is understood only by spaniels.
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Now, if you could extract water from the dihydrogen monoxide, the chemical hazard would be neutralised.
Problem solved…..
Cheers,
Mark
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I know it's a joke
but don't fuck with it cause someone's gona take it seriously
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