Crap Joke Thread

[Tintop]

   

[Wayne Murray]

   

[Tintop]

   

[Wayne Murray]

   

[Grantus]

Incredible scenes as Qantas flight lands on-time, intact

In what safety experts have described as an ’extremely rare’ occurrence, a Qantas flight has arrived at its scheduled destination with all engines functioning and no signs of smoke streaming from the cabin.

Pilot Robert White has been hailed a hero after he landed the Boing 747 in Sydney at the pre-scheduled landing time with the assistance of two fully-functioning wings. “It was quite amazing,” White said after the flight. “We took off in normal fashion, put the wheels up, flew for a few hours, put the wheels down, then landed on the runway. All of this without an engine falling off or a passenger getting electrocuted by the in-flight entertainment console”.

Passengers on the flight spoke about the shock they experienced when they realised they had arrived home in Sydney, rather than being turned around to make an emergency landing in Dubbo. “There was this moment when I noticed that there wasn’t any smell of leaking fuel in the cabin and I just turned to the lady sitting next to me, squeezed her hand and said, “I think we’re going to land in Sydney on time. It was quite an emotional moment for everyone,” passenger John Redford said.

Passengers were reunited with the families at the scheduled time. Passengers will be reunited with their luggage in 3-4 working days.

[Tintop]

   

[Tintop]

   

[Wayne Murray]

   

[Tintop]

   

[Grantus]

A guy books into a new GP for an annual checkup.

The doctor says to him, we’ll have to do some blood tests, a physical, and now you should have a prostrate check.

As he pulls on the gloves, he says to the patient, “I must warn you, there’s a 50% chance of an erection with this procedure”.

“I don’t think that’ll happen”, says the patient.



“Oh no, not you”, replies the doctor…”Me!”