Crap Joke Thread

[Grantus]

   

[BrianK]

   

[BrianK]

   

[Grantus]

57 calls on an old telephone…..

I had a rare non payer, an interstate removalist company years ago, that happily agreed to a quote, but when I completed the work for them, they had every delay excuse to pay possible.

Too many months overdue, and too many phone calls requesting payment, with a different excuse each time, I waited till after business hours, made 2 copies of the invoice, taped them end to end, then fed the first into the FAX MACHINE, dialed their fax number, and waited till it started to send.

As the first invoice started to feed out the bottom of my fax, I then carefully taped that, to the end of the second invoice, to form a constant paper loop, so it would constantly keep feeding back through my fax machine……..and went to bed.

Next morning I had a frantic phone call from the “receptionist” screaming that they had about 70 copies of the invoice in their office, that overflowed all over the floor!

I calmly said, “Only 70? You must have run out of paper. You need to reload your paper. Just pay the bill, or I’ll do it again, and again, until I’m paid.”

The bill was paid before close of business that day! 

Those were the days when the Fax Machine was the latest tech, each call was charged, and the thermo paper was not cheap!

[wirrah]

   

[Ninga]

   

[Oldman]

An oldy but a goody….
Seen on an A frame sign, outside a Vet in Mittagong yesterday:

Dogs cannot operate MRI diagnostic machinery……..
.
.
.

.
.
.
………but catscan

[Wayne Murray]

   

[wirrah]

An oldy but a goody….
Seen on an A frame sign, outside a Vet in Mittagong yesterday:

Dogs cannot operate MRI diagnostic machinery……..
.
.
.

.
.
.
………but catscan

Having had Georgie have MRI scans several times (Don't ask me what the fee was) - thank doG it wasn't at a vet in Mittagong.

   

[wirrah]

A man goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having
a nightmare - the man wakes him and asks his son if he is OK? The son
replies he is scared because he dreamt that Auntie Susie had died. The father
assures the son that Auntie Susie is fine and sends him to bed. The next
day, Auntie Susie dies.

One week later, the man again goes into his son's room to wish him
goodnight. His son is having another nightmare - the man again wakes his
son. The son this time says that he had dreamt that granddaddy had died.
The father assures the son that granddaddy is fine and sends him to bed. The
next day, granddaddy dies.

One week later, the man again goes into his son's room to wish him
goodnight. His son is having another nightmare - the man again wakes his
son. The son this time says that he had dreamt that daddy had died. The
father assures the son that he is OK and sends the boy to bed.

The man goes to bed but cannot sleep because he is so terrified. The
next day, the man is scared for his life  - he is sure is going to die. After
dressing he drives very cautiously to work fearful of a collision. He
doesn't eat lunch because he is scared of food poisoning. He avoids
everyone for he is sure he will somehow be killed. He jumps at every noise,
starts at every movement and hides under his desk.

Upon walking in his front door, he finds his wife. "Good God, Dear," he
proclaims, "I've just had the worst day of my entire life!"

She responds, "You think your day was bad, the milkman dropped dead on
the doorstep this morning".