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Crap Joke Thread
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 (24-12-2022, 09:43 PM)wirrah Wrote: Sorry to hear that especially given I am the same age. You have more in common than you think. He was also an award winning photographer, with an extensive collection of cameras, and an all round really nice guy too. Cancer sucks, and it’s very indiscriminate in it choices of targets. 
88 Blue T3 CL Caravelle
91 Blue T3 Single Cab 
25-12-2022, 12:33 PM
Dom Knight's Christmas Cracker Jokes
What’s Scott Morrison’s favourite British comedy series? [b]Yes Ministries![/b] What did they serve instead of beer at the Qatar World Cup? [b]Budweiser![/b] What happened when the Bureau of Meteorology tried to change its nickname? [b]They BoMbed![/b] Which Hollywood star had the most watched hit of 2022? [b]Will Smith![/b] How did the three wise mobsters launder money at Christmas? [b]They looked for The Star![/b] How do you get into Mar-a-Lago without paying $200,000 to join? [b]A search warrant![/b] What happens when Greens MPs get together for a joke? [b]Bandter![/b] Why did Harry and Meghan make a documentary for Netflix? [b]Because Sus-sex sells![/b] What’s Simon Holmes A Court’s favourite takeaway order? [b]A teal deal![/b] Which seabird would rather travel by fast train than fly? [b]An Albotross[/b] What’s the difference between Santa Claus and Peter Dutton? [b]One lives at the North Pole; the other’s polls have gone south![/b] What’ll the immunisation policy be at next year’s Australian Open? [b]They’ll allow Novaks![/b] Why did the Victorian Liberals look for a new leader who doesn’t blink? [b]Because Dan Andrews’ biggest vulnerability is stairs![/b] What’s the one card NSW Labor won’t send anyone this Christmas? [b]A cashless gaming card![/b] What did the AFP call its dossier on George Christensen? [b]The Manila Folder![/b] hat did the volunteer flood rescuers in Lismore have, and deserve a lot more of? [b]Tinnies![/b] On election day, what happened to the Coalition’s vote in Warringah? [b]It was Deves-tated![/b] hat’s the easiest way to get yourself onto the internet in 2022? [b]Be an Optus customer![/b] Who lost the Victorian election? [b]Some Guy![/b] Why shouldn’t you play Cluedo against Brian Houston? [b]He won’t tell anyone that the Reverend did it![/b] Which economic indicator did Josh Frydenberg lower significantly, then increase by one? [b]The unemployment rate![/b] What’s riskier than self-driving mode on a Tesla? [b]Putting Elon Musk at the wheel![/b] Why did David Littleproud address his party room in mime? [b]Because he’s opposed to the Voice![/b] What’s the least popular festive food in Ukraine this year? [b]Christmas Putin![/b] What do you call a festive gathering that ends early because the host’s over it? [b]A Barty party![/b] What did Scott Morrison destroy during the election campaign? [b]Would have accepted “the Coalition’s primary vote” or “[i]April Sun In Cuba”[/i]![/b] Why did Medibank Private change its name to just plain Medibank? [b]They can’t keep anything private![/b] What will FTX founder Sam Bankman-Fried do in the new year? [b]Time![/b]  
Putin walks into a classroom where the kids are learning about Shakespeare's tragedies...
The teacher says "Mr President it would be my honour if you took over". Putin replies "Dah niet problem". He asks the kids "What is a tragedy"? and the first kid says "if a school bus lost its brakes going down a hill that would be a tragedy" Putin replies "niet a great loss of life but niet tragedy". Second kid says "If an old couple get stuck on the train tracks and the train runs them over, that would be a tragedy" Putin replies "niet that would be an accident". The 3rd kid says " If you Mr President were flying from Moscow to Lenningrad Saint Petersburg and a missile shot you down, that would be a tragedy". Putin says "dah, that would be a tragedy and why is that Ivan?" Ivan the 3rd kid says "Because it wouldn't be an accident and certainly no great loss of life".
Greg
’71 Westfalia, Annie ’91 Caravelle GL, Lucy Слава Україні I didn’t expect an answer, because I spoke in Spaniel, which is understood only by spaniels.
25-12-2022, 07:31 PM
What does Ford stand for backwards?
Driver Returns On Foot
72 Kombi Microbus
72 Kombi Van 72 Kombi DC Ute 76 Kombi SC Ute 72
26-12-2022, 05:56 PM
I know this is a bit of a sleeper but feel free to ask...
Greg
’71 Westfalia, Annie ’91 Caravelle GL, Lucy Слава Україні I didn’t expect an answer, because I spoke in Spaniel, which is understood only by spaniels. |
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