Crap Joke Thread

[Kazz]

Could be true……..

[wirrah]

A woman decided to give herself a big treat for her 70th birthday by staying overnight in a really nice hotel.

When she checked out the next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.  She demanded to know why the charge was so high "I agree it's a nice hotel, but the rooms aren't worth $250 for just an overnight stay - I didn't even have breakfast!" 

The clerk told her that $250.00 is the 'standard rate' and breakfast had been included had she wanted it.  She insisted on speaking to the Manager. The Manager appeared and, forewarned by the desk clerk, announced: "This hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre which are available for use."  "But I didn't use them."  "Well, they are here, and you could have."

He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which they were so famous. "We have the best entertainers from the world over performing here." "But I didn't go to any of those shows.."  "Well, we have them, and you could have."  No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, "But I didn't use it!" and the Manager countered with his standard response.

After several minutes discussion, and with the Manager still unmoved, she decided to pay, wrote a cheque and gave it to him.

The Manager was surprised when he looked at the cheque. "But Madam, this check is for only $50.00" 

"That's correct I charged you $200.00 for sleeping with me." 

"But I didn't!" 

"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."

[wirrah]

A Ruzzian visits Switzerland. 

In Bern he asks, "Hey, what's that building over there?". 

A local answers, "That's our naval department". 

The Ruzzian laughs, "Really? What the hell do you need a naval department in a land locked country for? You people are funny".

Piqued, the Swiss man replies, "Well, OK, but you also still have a justice department in Moscow, don't you?"

[wirrah]

   

[T1 Terry]

https://kombiclubaustralia.com/showthrea...48#pid3348

In our case, replace the cat with the wife;s short hair Chihuahua and the cat with "dry food. don't bother with anything else .... well except for a tasting I select with my paw from your dinner" 

T1 Terry

[BrianK]

ROLL ON DEODORANT 


   

[wirrah]

ROLL ON DEODORANT 

   

[wirrah]

   

[BrianK]

   

[wirrah]

For those with dogs that are fightened by fireworks - ours aren't thankfully.